You see, we are all given a certain amount of fucks to give in one lifetime, and it is up to us as individuals to determine how to distribute them (trust me, I’m a doctor of fuck-giving). Some people call these ‘priorities.’ I call them ‘fucks.’ Improper fuck-distribution leads to such things as unnecessary stress, feelings of futility, existential crises, bad hair days, and perhaps even Seasonal Affective Disorder. In this article, I will seek to teach you proper distribution technique so that you and your loved ones can stop giving ‘em (like that) and have more time to give them…like that. Let’s begin.